Dad didn’t shave for three months after the back left, All-Terrain tire of our 1998 Volvo Station Wagon rolled over the head of Mr. Mittens.

Shit on a Shingle: (two servings):

My father is a beekeeper.

I stare at two bottles of shampoo intensely, trying to determine whether or not the one with ten extra ounces is worth two more dollars.

GPS—Time of Arrival is 3:25