F. LAWSON is a high school English teacher in Massachusetts, where he lives with his wife and son. He seeks to inspire a passion for literature in his students and readers. Grandfather Clock is his first novel. You can visit him at www.flawson.com.
He didn’t include a picture because he couldn’t find one he liked. The good ones weren’t authentic, and the authentic ones were far from good. He also doesn’t see the point in including his home state. He did because most other authors do, but that’s the only reason. He doubts anyone would recognize him if they walked past him on the street (especially since he didn’t include a photo). He mentioned that he’s a high school English teacher because otherwise this section would’ve been an almost blank page. His book doesn’t include any anti-blank page details, though. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you that day when I could’ve. And I’m sorry I didn’t want to come to dinner that one time; I really enjoyed it.” No, every element is included for a reason. “I’m sorry that I judged you.” Every fallen strand of hair, every chime of the clock, every pitter patter of frantic feet on the floor—they all serve a purpose. “I’m sorry I didn’t come visit you in the hospital because I was too scared to see you this way.” The protagonist, Jonas, is holding his grandfather’s hand, and Grandpa gives him a weak squeeze. You see, when Jonas’ grandfather lies on his deathbed, that’s really his grandfather, and when Jonas cries his eyes out and runs to the grandfather clock down the hall, spinning the gears, desperately trying to slow down time, turn back time, that’s really him, F. Lawson, crying, scraping for one more minute with his grandfather. “I’m sorry that when I did come, I was almost too late. I’m sorry I wasted all of that time.” In the book, when Jonas spins the gears, he does turn back time. He goes back just enough to apologize to his father for his poor behavior and lack of understanding, for his demanding attitude and lack of sympathy, for his selfishness and lack of support. He goes back just enough to apologize to his mother, who is losing her father for good, which he fails to grasp in the beginning. He gets down on his knees, trying to bend as low as he feels, and asks what he can do to make the present moment easier for her. “I’m sorry I ever let you down.” Grandpa’s eyelids begin to flutter, as though preparing to fly away. His mother simply asks for a hug. Jonas, of course, obliges. He goes back just enough to apologize to his sister, who has been mourning all alone, and differently, since she is unable to understand that Grandpa isn’t leaving but departing. At her young age, is there a difference? Finally, he goes back just enough to apologize to his grandfather. For the remaining time that they exist on the same plane, he lets his soul loose. “Most of all, I’m sorry I didn’t say ‘I love you’ more. I—” Grandpa’s hand gently releases his, and a tear slowly rolls down Jonas’ cheek. It slides beneath his upper lip, delivering a salty taste into his mouth, forcing him to feel this moment as it is. “I love you.”
His mother has a picture of him hugging his grandfather in that bed. He likes that picture.