It’s Tuesday, September 19th, 4:01 PM. You’re late. I don’t like Tuesdays either. This morning, someone said I am neurotic. I am not neurotic. And I know what they said about me before you brought me in here and it isn’t true.
It was terribly bright and I had a headache. I woke up late and I did not have time to make my bed. I have not made my bed yet. My room is a mess I apologize. This whole Tuesday has been a mess. People don’t like Mondays, but return to their same awful lives the next day like they gave up. Mondays are failures but Tuesdays are worse than failures.
I did not brush my teeth for the recommended amount of time today because I was in such a hurry. I woke up at 7:40, work starts at 8. It's a fifteen-minute drive, I trust you can do the math. I barely had time to get my uniform on. I sped to work, I apologize but I wouldn’t have to if there weren’t so many jackasses on the road. I don't understand why people drive so recklessly, we all end up in the same place. I don’t like Jackasses. They’re everywhere these days, and they make sure you know they’re there. Loud music, sloppy clothes, big cars, they act like nobody else matters. Like we’re invisible. Just this morning I heard about a robbery not far from where I work. Jackasses. You can't be too careful these days.
I saw a Pontiac Fiero this morning it's a beautiful car. They don't make many cars like that.
Yes, I carry. It’s not really any of your business but I carry. I told you already you can’t be too careful. It’s a Smith and Wesson, normally I don’t like their revolvers but I like the 686. And you can't be too careful. So I carry.
Can I keep talking please? Sorry, it just feels a little rude, to interrupt me while I was talking about something. Anyway, the Pontiac Fiero, it’s a beautiful car, underappreciated these days. A lot of people didn’t like it because of its engine cooling system. It overheated a lot. But people forget all about its other great features, like—
I’m sorry could you please stop interrupting me? I am trying to be polite but it's really starting to bother me. But fine, if you’re going to be so rude about it I can move on.
I got to work at 8:04. I was four minutes late. I don’t like being late, I was having a really awful Tuesday. There were so many Jackasses on the road, on the radio, in the parking lot—it gets tiring. The sun was really bright. I shouldn’t have to work when it's so hot outside, when the sun is so bright.
At least the elevator was empty. People always face forward on the elevator and look towards the door so when I face the opposite way it makes them uncomfortable. I do not want things to be uncomfortable I just don’t see the point in turning around. We all end up in the same place.
My office is on the 16th floor. People looked extra uncomfortable today, I don’t think they liked my gun. Utah is open carry, if the laws say I can do it I do not understand why it bothers people so much.
I tried to get on with my day, but the sun kept glaring at me. I was inside but it kept glaring at me through the windows. I couldn’t get any work done. At 8:24 AM my boss came to my desk.
Yes, Caroline. Caroline was my boss, but we called her Ms. Rhodes. No, I did not like calling her ‘Ms. Rhodes’. She’s formal, which normally I don’t mind but she's not older than me so I don’t understand why she gets to demand my respect and I just have to take it, why she gets to feel big and important and I have to feel small. She smiles too much, and it bothers me. This morning she came up to me and smiled, even though it was Tuesday.
She laughed and said it looked like someone had a case of Mondays even though it was Tuesday. I reminded her it was Tuesday. She nodded and smiled politely. I didn’t like the way she spoke to me or the way she smiled, like I’m that simple. Like I’m a child even though we’re the same age. It wasn’t even Monday, it was Tuesday.
At 9:52 AM I walked into her office and shot her in the face. I fired two shots and left four in the chamber.
I didn’t really have a plan. To be honest I didn't really mean to. The glare was in my eyes, and there were too many Jackasses on the road and on the streets, and nobody appreciates the Pontiac Fiero anymore. I woke up late and I didn’t make my bed and I didn't get to brush my teeth for the recommended amount of time and I shouldn’t have to call her Ms. Rhodes and it was Tuesday not Monday and I didn’t have a case of the Mondays, so I shot her. We’ll end up in the same place anyway.